My Life or My Future Life?

Been think more and more about myself lately..... Am i going to die? or survive? That question remains only for kami & the one who decided my life to decide...
Love, life, Actions, Decisions, Attitide, are all that i've been thinking recently.....

Love
I know that like you, but not sure if i've trurly love you.... everytime i see posts of your emo-ness, e.g. i miss you, i can't stop thinking about you, etc, i always feel regret that i made you this way.... I don't know if you still love me, coz you once said on fb that u'll stop thinking about me, but ended up saying u'r still thinking of me... I really so feel so bad that i'm hurting both of us so badly...
& i've been thinking about my words & actions to you... I'm sorry that i keep saying that you were wrong... i was in the wrong too, i've pushed through into you with brute force & hurt you so deep. I'm really sorry... I'll make up to you for anything. If you need or want anything, just tell me & i'll be there to help if i'm capable of doing...

Life
Will my life be a mesirable one? or will it be a happy one? Who will decide for me?

Actions
My past action have made my mesirable now.... My present actions still makes me mesirable.... I guess i've lead a mesirable life since i'm born....

Decisions
I've been in a life of 'can't decide.' I've have to learn to decide as early as possible... In life, everything have to be decided....

Attitude
My attitude have changed alot since i was a child.... from a happy since a child, crybabdy kid is primary school, angry teenager in secondary school, brinless young adult in ITE, smiling like a dumbo in part-time working life....
My attitude is different when i'm with different clique of friends.... Sorry if i'm not the type that you like me to, but that's me, changing of attitudes....

Good bye for now...