Jinx Neo Jin Xiang

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Singapore, Singapore, Singapore, Singapore
Leg, Arm, Wrist, Ears, Eyes & Head. Balance, Speed & Strength are the key to success of the body.

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Monday, December 12, 2011

Fun

Saw on your Facebook, Twitter that you going taiwan on 11 Dec 2011, Sunday, for 1 week. Hope you have fun, learn what Taiwanese(s) do there. Hope when you come back from Taiwan, you'll be a better girl, because i know that Taiwan isn't as a bad influence as Singapore.

Had fun ytd & today, 11 Dec 2011 (Sunday) & 12 Dec 2011 (Monday), Played Laser Tag with Crossfire Laser Tag both were under blocks & at multi-storey carparks. The playing ground was quite a big area, coz it covers about 3-5 blocks distance. 1st was us (Haq, Zai, Zul, Gavin, Aiman, Edwin & me) with 2 team marshals, 1 malay guy & 1 chinese girl... 2nd was me & Zai played with 3 malay girls who are new to this game.

POP Oh!!! on 9 Dec 2011. had known my posting,as Transcom... I'm going to patrol around MRT Stations in the future,during my NS times.... So, see you in MRT Stations =)

P.S. I've been thinking of you more & more often.

Saturday, December 03, 2011

It hurts

It hurts me seeing you drinking more often. It hurts me seeing you started smoking. It hurts me seeing you missing me. It hurts me every time i remember you. It hurts me when i didn't get to remember you.  It hurts me so much. But i'll endure all these just for you. Good things have to wait right?

To start this post. Hi to you, hope you have a great day today =)

I'm hurt internally, externally, mentally and whole heartedly.

Internally: The left side of my lower back has begun again, for the 2nd time 2 days ago when i went to gym during OTOT time in camp.
Externally: I'm getting tired because i'm stressing myself to exercise to get back the muscles last time. Also training for POP in camp for 9 Dec 2011, the big day which HTA extend our time inside by 1 more month.
Mentally: Alot has happened and going to happen, so i'm stress. Ben Poh's 21st B'day chalet on 17 Dec, SG(B) clique gathering, meeting Mei Jia (date not fixed), meeting Zhan Yan (NITEC classmate).
Whole heartedly: My heart aches when i see Singapore teenagers not even growing up mentally. [How will these ppl protect Singapore(army), the citizens (NPCs), Singapore sky (air force), buildings (SCDF)]. My heart also aches everytime i miss someone.

Just to end this post. I've been influenced by you to start blogging. So you are already in my life, so don't every go out of my life.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

it's been so long~ that i havn't seen you since...

I know that i have hurt you a lot. It hurts me seeing you being hurt. Every time when i use Facebook, the first thing that comes to my mind is your profile & your blog. I have the urge to see what u have been up to lately, because i don't want to see you leading astray with stress & missing me. I know that you have taken up Shisha more and more often. Shisha is worst that of cigarette, it shortens a life faster. And your drinking life as also increase, it's hurting me seeing you become like this. I'm still in love with you ever since we broke up. But i can't tell you because i want you to concentrate on you studies and grow up well. My heart hurts everytime i think about you going further and further and trying to forget me. I'm sorry but i can only keep my feelings for you until you end your NITEC life. I think you still have 1 more year to finish, but i'll still wait for you.

It's been close to 3 months since i came to update my blog. & i don't know what to say. Thought of the song "Right Now" by Akon when i think of the title for this post. But not making love haha. Anyway... i left 3 weeks for my POP on 9 December 2011. I'm lucky that i pass all the exams & studied real hard using the way i learn best. It's been 3mths + since i entered NS... still have 1 year 6 1/2mths left. In NS i've learn more about myself.
1. Anger Management Problem
2. Talking Ability
3. Bravery
4. Body Proportions
5. Likes & Dislikes
6. Blood Donation
There will still be more things for me to learn about myself.

P.S. I can't speak up on things & people that i love. Because i keep thinking that it's the wrong time to say it. But i really love you even though you aren't as beautiful as other girls, arn't as slim as other girls, aren't as innocent as other girls. But you are who i love.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Me again?

I know that i've been changed by you... I was once never letting out my feelings to the public... But since the time u said that you like to post your feelings out, i slowly started too.... Now all my feelings been been written here, just for you to read.... But i doubt that you'll read all this as now what i did was to only f**king irritating you. So now i'll STOP. You posted on facebook that it will be best if you disappear from my life and it will make me happy. But when u disappear, i'll really feel guilty. Whenever i think about the time we were tgt,it makes me shiver in fear. Just this afternoon, i ask to meet you and you said no. I'm not sure if you are avoiding me, but now i decided that i won't be caring about you. I'll be treating you like one of my friend of lost contact, i'll never going to contact you until something has happen. Never will i going to message you from time to time to keep my boredom away.

There's NO POINT in me to think about you again since you decided to leave my life, and started to think that i'm f**king irritating. I'm sorry that i entered your life. I'm sorry to have caused you so much pain and suffering. These will fade away in due time (i hope). I'LL NEVER GOING TO IRRITATE YOU AGAIN.

I'm sorry that i'm F**KING IRRITATING. I'm sorry that there's NO POINT in anything. I'm sorry that i ENTERED YOU LIFE.
Now i'm leaving you for good.
Good Bye my first girlfriend which lasted only 2months. You never lost anything. We never vowed, never kissed, never dated, never even touched. But our happy moments tgt will be in my memory.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Happy 46th Birthday Singapore, Hello NS Life & Bye Bye Pink IC

Firstly, i would like to say
Happy 46th Birthday Singapore!
You've come so far from a malay kampong island (Singapura) to the exchange pot the Sir Stamford Raffles intended to achieve, to now the on growing technological, well grown Mother of the people here (Singapore).
& also Happy Birthday to my 2 friends, Aw Yee Bang & Ling Huan Who are also born on this date. =)

Secondly, I'm getting ready to book-in to camp for the 1st time in my life... NS days are here... NS is so generious to give us(those who are booking in the same date as me) another Public Holiday to rest... So that they won't have to pay us while we'r out of camp. Clever... Singapore Ministry personal are clever =)
10 August 2011 is the day i book in.... 8.30am at Home Team Academe, Old Chua Chu Kang Road.

Thirdly & Lastly for this post.
If you are reading this, my girl, i'm not sure if u already know that i'm going for NS tomorrow, but i'm going to msg u telling u so. =) I keep going to your FB wall & read all your daily posts... coz i think i like you, but i'm not sure if i love you. I go your blog to read once in a while too. All those emo posts makes my feel bad & sad. I'm sorry that i hust you in the past. & i seriously wants to make it up to you. If you like, i wish to get back to you. I know that you are suffering, mentally, me too. I'm not sure about you but you are who i think of evryday...
I'll be sending you a msg today, a time that i think i wouldn't affect you when u are busy... i hope you sre looking forward to it as i am...

Sunday, July 24, 2011

My Life or My Future Life?

Been think more and more about myself lately..... Am i going to die? or survive? That question remains only for kami & the one who decided my life to decide...
Love, life, Actions, Decisions, Attitide, are all that i've been thinking recently.....

Love
I know that like you, but not sure if i've trurly love you.... everytime i see posts of your emo-ness, e.g. i miss you, i can't stop thinking about you, etc, i always feel regret that i made you this way.... I don't know if you still love me, coz you once said on fb that u'll stop thinking about me, but ended up saying u'r still thinking of me... I really so feel so bad that i'm hurting both of us so badly...
& i've been thinking about my words & actions to you... I'm sorry that i keep saying that you were wrong... i was in the wrong too, i've pushed through into you with brute force & hurt you so deep. I'm really sorry... I'll make up to you for anything. If you need or want anything, just tell me & i'll be there to help if i'm capable of doing...

Life
Will my life be a mesirable one? or will it be a happy one? Who will decide for me?

Actions
My past action have made my mesirable now.... My present actions still makes me mesirable.... I guess i've lead a mesirable life since i'm born....

Decisions
I've been in a life of 'can't decide.' I've have to learn to decide as early as possible... In life, everything have to be decided....

Attitude
My attitude have changed alot since i was a child.... from a happy since a child, crybabdy kid is primary school, angry teenager in secondary school, brinless young adult in ITE, smiling like a dumbo in part-time working life....
My attitude is different when i'm with different clique of friends.... Sorry if i'm not the type that you like me to, but that's me, changing of attitudes....

Good bye for now...

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Thinking about life?

I know how you feel when u post something as your status on Facebook everytime. You don't know how to face me... So i still willing to wait for you, cause you are still young in may ways. Although i'm also young, i've learn somewhat sufficient amount of information about life, but i'm still learning & updating my memory.
And i think you are thinking about what my previous 3 posts mean or what did you or me did wrong... Right or wrong? I've been keeping quiet because i was waiting for you to be ready for our relationship. Because in a relationship, what can help in sustaining it is the communication. If you can't say what u feel or unable willing to listen to what i feel, thani feel that it won't last long even if i move forward. If you are waiting for friendship, than i don't mind stepping forward cause friends are ment to remember one another. But if you are still shy, than there's no closer distance between us. If i move 1 step forward, you step 1 step backwards, no point in anything.
If you like, you could ask me anything & i'll answer you all that i know. Just like how you ask me the first question, "How do i know if a guy likes me or not?" (or something similar).

Now for my recent life.
Just yesterday, 16 July 2011, took off to got for my cousin's daughter's full month celebration. Giselle Yeo Zi Qing. Also saw Hwee Hwee & Gordon's new 4 room flat. they have 5 red ear slider terrapins, diff breed from my home's 2 red ear slider. Just watching them helps me to understand how they feel & helps me to relex. Their opposite flat were burnt when we got there. & the night TV news was reporting i also...
Than also i got the letter from CMPB, telling me it's time to serve Singapore as a full-time NSman. Starting from 10 August 2011. at Old Chua CHu Kang Road, Home Team. So i'm quiting my job at NTUC FairPrice (SGB) on 1 Aug 2011.

Monday, July 04, 2011

Sadening memories

I've been thinking about you since then. Listening to 'Fucking Perfect', 'Tu Ran Xiang Ai', 'Hua Sha' & 'Family' always reminds me of the times we were happily talking. Thought that you are one strange girl when u can talk so much about different stuff, but can't say a word about yourself. But i'm fine with it, cause you are who you are. I love you just the way you are.
(If you are reading this, I would like to say:) I'm sorry if i broke your heart when u read my previous post. Cause i feel that you are avoiding me just because i needed to ask & tell you something personally.
Thus, if you can, find a way on how to tell me how you feel. Cause you can't find your courage to talk to me when i asked you. So i'm always ready to hear from you anytime.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

YOU? or just ME?

Now you are who you are, and i'm who i am.
I'm sorry to say that i'm through with loving you.
We will leave for our seperate ways from now on.
You are free to do what you like and talk to who you like.
Sorry that i ever entered your life.


There's no point in me loving you anymore. Sorry that i ever went into your life. Sorry that i was who you liked. Sorry for letting you into my life. Sorry that we were once together. Sorry for not being able to be together after breaking up. I'm sorry that i loved you.
When u said that there's no point saying what i doesn't want to say in sms, i feel like i'm doing flying fox without a harness on. You broke my heart.
If friends are even what we are, than there's no point to even remember you as someone i every knew.
But after that, today you said you made the first step... but what's was your first step?
And this question has been in my head after what u posted on facebook (when will you reach Singapore?)..... Is those words you posted on facebook towards me? or someone els that you fell in love with after we broke up?
Good Bye you first girlfriend. 25 Jan 2011, 11.27pm - 27 March 2011, 11.56pm
I'll aways remember you as my low EQ frist girlfriend. I'll still love you even though we broke up.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Men are from Venus, Women are from Mars

Venus is so boring without Mars. Will Mars be interesting? or will it be stressful?

It's been 2months & 23 days since we broke up. Since 2nd April 2011 (after you siad that i care too much for you just as a friend on 1st April 2011), I feel so heartbroken everytime i read your emo sentances, but i just can't stop myself from reading everyday... I feel like reading on and on and crying till the day i reach Mars and meet you. Will you step out on your journey to meet me? because even when i search the whole planet Mars, i won't be finding you because you haven't said a word of where will u be on when.
Venus and Mars is separated with Earth along the course way on the solar system.
I do seem happy outside, but how can i be happy when everytime i saw your sad and emo sentances on facebook? You and i are 麻木 on the sadness and loneliness that we gave each other. But one thing that i can't be 麻木, is how i feel about you. The LOVE, The SADNESS, The LONELINESS, The EMO-NESS, The NUMBNESS, all are my feling towards you now.
Every time when i'm not talking to others, or alone, i'll always think of you and how to talk to you when we meet. Because i've asked you when will u be free, but you haven't told me your answer. But i know that you want to concentrate on your studies, and i also wish for you to pass with flying colours, so i concilled my feeling all these times just for your studies. But When u said you don't think you can pass your C.A, i feel so sad....
P.S. I LOVE YOU.( I'm crying while i'm typing this post just to let you know how i really feel.)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

From past to present

This post will be boring if u diesn't have the interest to read....

Well... i'll start off by saying about abit of my recent life....
i injured my left leg since 1 Feb 2011.... ever since then, the following Tue i injured the same wound again for the month.... for 1st treatment, i went for acupuncture 1 time.... she make me bleed, but i didn't feel pain, coz electricity passing through the needle with heater thingy on top of it....
than the next week, went to sinseh quite near my house, which is about 2/3 bus stops away, but ended up didn't get any coz the shop was close at night... it closes around 6.30pm & i went there was around 7pm....... than went to serangoon central, the 1 behind it but not so close to the Serangoon int. i go there, they put a medicine to smoke my leg, than let me soke my leg into it... after that the guy started twisting my ankle & then pull like he want to dislocate my ankle (in a professional way)......
this 2 ways didn't work.... so on 23 Feb 2011, went to another place... this time is further... the 1 @ Beach road..... went there with my neighbour & his husband... had a free taxi ride there & back.... my neighbour at first thought the red patch on the medicine was her blood, but when she took out, it's just the medicine -.- the medicine can be taken out around 6-8hours.....
also just went for my 2nd treatment @ beach road de sinseh on 7 Mar 2011.... i put the medicine on for 1 day + coz next day is my TKD training..... eventhough that, i still train with those 2011 Jan intakes.... although it isn't much of an exercise, i still sweat out abit which feels good =)
ok, end of my recent injury
continue with the next main thing i wanted to say...... MY PAST

Well, my past isn't that much of a fun, coz i'm a serious type of person, eventhough now i keep smiling to others, i'm always serious, even if friends say some jokes.... i laugh & joke with them, then i get serious the next minute....
anyway, i start from when i can remember... which i cannot remember anything before my primary school life.... but i looked though my past photos, i remembered some things....
the only thing i rmember was when my grandfather pass away when i was about 3/4 year-old? i not sure of the things i did, but what i could remember was like i'm in malaysia, but funny thing is that my past photos are in my house with my grandfather..... but i can only remember i was playing happily outside of a house when someone died.... is like a mix of my memories....& is i remember it in my dream when i was in secondary 2/3....
on to my kindergarten.... i studied in PAP kindergarten 2 blocks infront of my house.... i got to know my childhood friend Cheryl =) she lives near my house also =) i would forget my friends is didn't buy the class photos... but even so, i also forget who they are....

Next will be my Primary school, i went to XingHua Primary School, @ 45 Hougang Ave 1..... i also cannot remember much, but i only know i still like to cry in pri.... halfway through my pri, they shift our lesson to somewhere near kovan mrt stn/ upper serangoon rd there, but is inside some place.... coz they want to re renovate the school & they found a school, which is also vacant coz they moved away... after abuot 1 or 1 half year, we moved back, it's much bigger & nicer than before (of coz nicer, if not re-renovate for what).... anyway, i went back there for my Pri 5 & pri 6... which i can only remember abit of it... Song Hao & Fabian is the only 2 i remember & 1 more person which fabian hit in the crouch, but i can only remember the face, not the name... we were all in the same class.... & our form teacher, a young female is giving out our result slip for class test....
that's all i can remember in primary school
oh, and i almost forget, i ate fishball noodles with chilli for the whole of 6 years =)

carry on to my Sec, in Yuying Secondary Schoo, also known as Yok Eng High School in the past, located @ 47 Hougang Ave 1, just beside XingHua Pri.... i also can't remember much although is just 3 years since i left....
lets see.... what i can remember was, i ate laksa with chilli for the whole 4 years inside..... until after 2 years since i left & went back during teachers day to eat, the aunty still remembers me.... i'm such a good customer to her.... =D
anyway, back to my school things... i still remember i cried when i got a staple in my left index finger thx to Lim Tau Wei who wants to play with it... even after that i don't blame him, coz he's my best friend in Secondary school.... he also lives near my house.... after that, i've change after a year... my temper got out of my control coz i grew up earlier than them {in thinking wise, i'm more responsible}..... since they are still playful, they are really annoying that time...
in sec 2, i only remember mr yeo as my PE teacher
in science lesson in sec 2, i had an experiment with my friend, eating a rock of salt without water.... sure is salty........

Than in sec 3, our form teacher was Mr Jali, who is the section head for english, Mr lawrance is our very fit PE teacher, than science is a male chinese teacher.... Well, in Sec 3, Mr Jali suggest we decorate our classroom to be more comfortable... so we did, we brought a 3-seater sofa in, a carpet & 1 fish tank.... (here comes my anger) my class lepak is ok, but the other NT class, 4J come in lepak also... they also mess with the fishes... they throw everything & anything inside over & over again... until my anger broke through me, i shouted at them, but i controlled myself half.... At the end of our cwhole year, carried out the sofa & throw is at the dustbin at the opp block... than they want to scar the sofa for fun.... so i watched them in smiles....
On to Sec 4.... Form teacher was Mr Wong Mun Chong, a very young new teacher who was not yet merried that time.... Only can remember that Iskandar ws our class chairman & i was secutary.... well.... nothing much happened in this year that i can remember....
ok, end of Secondary school life
Ending of Secondary school, i started working in NTUC FairPrice SG(B) on Nov 2007 {about 1/2 weeks after i reach 16}... i was asked by my brother's friend, Kim Hock, who was working there also as cashier tht time.... when i worked, my anger is still there... i shouted at 2 colleagues, who left for their NS soon after that... the problem with them i when working, they slack alot & i did their work for them.... that's the last time my anger broke loose... but is when i work half cashier & half R.A. there....
It's back to studies now... this time, isn't much of a fun...
I entered Bishan ITE in NITEC in Service Skills (Retail) course... my Class Advisor (CA) was Mrs Liow-Chan Lai Meng. others are Mrs Yeo, Mr Chia, Mr Kelvin Koh {i can only remember this 4 teachers... sry if i have bad memory} the lass is IR0801A. & there's only 1 food that i eat when i'm in school, Won Ton Noodles... but when the shop is close, i go eat chicken rice, but mostly is won ton =)..... my clique in this class is with Han cheng, Benjamin, Moses, Ryan, Li Yi, Mei Ling,Rajes & Catherine... we have lots of fun tgt... i think this is the best class i ever had in my life up till now.... Moses is the only 1 went for NS agter that, the rest of us progress to Higher NITEC back in Bishan....
I half work half study during NITEC period.... & now working again.... until i progress to Higher NITEC
Here comes my Higher NITEC in Business Studies (Administration) bck in Bishan ITE {just ended on 1st March 2011}
Here in Admin class, is IS0904D. they are a bunch on noisy kids, but still acceptable noise... kids will still be kids, theres no change in that...
Anyway, my clique is with indian groups, Jeevithah, Anitha, Amrita, Fathimah & Jalil.... even though that, this is the clique i trust in the class that will stay tgt.... our CA was Ms Joanne Tan Seok Yan (our young & beautiful mother of 2 & 35) & the other teachers whom taught us was Ms Gladdys Leong, Ms Melor Alui, Miss Angeline Chen & Mrs Quek for 1st semester; than Mrs Samuel Craig, Mrs Elogia Loh, Mrs Karen Cheong, Mdm Rajes & Miss Angeline Chen for semester 2.... 2 sems for a year, next is 2nd year, the 3rd semester is Ms Lee Foong Mui / Ms Becky Lim, Mr Eric Chua & Mdm Rajwant Kaur... Last & final semester is Karen Cheong & Rajes again....
i was made the class monitor for the 2nd year coz Joanne  said i care of the class & is reliable, so i took the job out of her choice...

END OF STORY FROM NOV 1991 TO FEB 2011